If you had not brought your companion here, it would not have happened. When I have traversed the streets a houseless wanderer, driven with curses from every door where I have solicited alms, and with blows from every gateway where I have sought shelter,—when I have crept into some deserted building, and stretched my wearied limbs upon a bulk, in the vain hope of repose,—or, worse than all, when, frenzied with want, I have yielded to horrible temptation, and earned a meal in the only way I could earn one,—when I have felt, at times like these, my heart sink within me, I have drank of this drink, and have at once forgotten my cares, my poverty, my guilt. She was sick of herself, of her life, of everything but him; and for him all her masked and hidden being was crying out. I will never consent till I see him. What passed between them I cannot think—I dare not. The young rascal had learnt from some of the women-servants that Lady Trafford was from home, and was in the very act of making off when I got down stairs. You’re a lady all right and tight, and nothing anyone does can take that away from you. He was nearly wincing. She felt that with Capes near to her she would be content always to go on loving. Even then she had understood vaguely that she had touched upon some philosophy of life: that one was never lonely when alone, only in the midst of crowds. Sheppard. "This is our last transaction together. . The horror of those few minutes was still with her. Brown or Jones, I dare say.
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